Practical Wisdom from "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living"

My mother loved to read and write. She had gifted me plenty of books throughout my life, but one book in particular resonated with me strongly. On one of my visits to my family in Sebring, Florida, she said to me, "Tengo un regalo para ti" ("I have a gift for you.") She handed me "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie, and said that her own father had given her a copy of it many years ago.

At first, I thought the gift was a bit amusing. Yes, I tend to worry a lot. I thanked her and promised that I would start reading it when I got back home. And I did. To my own (pleasant) surprise, I was immediately hooked. The advice in this book is timeless. It presents real-life examples. psychological insights, and even actionable steps to build a more calm and resilient mindset. It provides guidance on how to structure our thoughts in order to be truly successful individuals.

For me, it really helped me see what was in front of me the entire time. We hear people suggest to us to live in the moment, but Carnegie really drilled it into my brain. We all know that the root of anxiety is worrying about the future and other uncertainties - but what can we actually do about it? Carnegie says focus on the present moment - no need to worry about the past, and no need to worry about the future. Every day is a new day - as illustrated by the "living in day-tight compartments" concept in Carnegie's book.

Here are some of my favorite take-aways:

• The Law of Averages

  • How likely is it that this event you're so worried about will actually happen? By thinking logically, you'll see that often, the probability of a catastrophe happening is much lower than your mind is making it seem.

  • This strategy reduces anxiety by taking a rational approach to whatever you're worried about.

• Keeping busy

  • The argument here is that when your mind is occupied with productive tasks, then anxious thoughts cannot take over.

  • I understand that sometimes it is extremely difficult to focus on anything else but the thing you are worried about. But Carnegie emphasizes that action will shift you from dwelling on problems to working on solutions.

• Cooperating with the inevitable

  • Accept what you cannot change and focus your energy on changing what you can.

  • Work on solutions. This will reduce stress and possibly lead to new opportunities.

  • Resisting the inevitable only leads to frustration, while acceptance allows you to move forward with a clearer mind.

• Gratitude

  • Worry often comes from focusing on what we lack or what could go wrong. Flip the narrative by focusing on what you have and what could go well.

  • Put problems into perspective - most of the time, you'll see that all the good things in your life outweigh the misfortunes, and these problems are small in comparison.

  • Create a positive outlook in your mind. We all hear "be more positive!" but trust me, it actually works. And not just because it's trendy to be more positive. Carnegie published this book in the 1940s. He's talking about being grateful and optimistic in order to break the cycle of anxiety.

• Helping others

  • Worry often comes from excessive self-focus - constantly analyzing our own problems, fears, and uncertainties.

    Carnegie explains that helping others provides a healthy distraction by shifting attention to something meaningful outside of ourselves.

  • Helping others also creates purpose in our lives. That is one of the reasons why I started this blog.

• Rest

  • Finally, Carnegie acknowledges that we all need to rest in order to perform at our best.

  • He notes the important of relaxation - in this hectic world we live in, we cannot push ourselves to exhaustion and burnout.

  • Give yourself permission to relax and recharge. You will be more successful in the long-run. Take frequent, intentional breaks - you will be more productive and efficient, and less anxious.

I have applied Carnegie's wisdom to my everyday life, as an individual and as a professional. I practice these ideas as often as I can, even if I may forget to do so sometimes. As you can see, these are not novel concepts, but the way they are presented in this book is sort of an enlightening experience. I highly recommend you pick up a copy of "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" if you ever experience anxiety or tend to worry excessively. I'm guilty of this too, but the practical wisdom I learned from this gift follows me even to this day, even after many years. Thank you, mamá.